Rosemary

I had gone to the doctor as I hadn’t had a period for 6 months. My first and only son was about 1 year old and I was told that it was just my body taking it’s time getting back in to the rhythm of things. I had a period and then it stopped again so I went back to the doctor who told me that I had had a blighted ovum (an egg had been fertilised but not matured) so my body should come back to normal in a few months. After still having an irregular cycle I was referred to a gynecologist. I had an ultrasound and some blood tests and he rang me on the phone and said you need to come back and see me but I think we’re looking at premature ovarian failure. I was a bit worried about the word failure but assumed I’d be given some drugs to kick start things and away we go. I immediately jumped on the internet and was very shocked to see what I had in store. I waited an agonising week to go back to the gynecologist who dealt the awful diagnosis. I remember sitting in the car afterwards feeling absolutely numb. My son had come with my husband and I and all I could think was ‘oh my god he’s going to be an only child’.

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I started taking HRT as the hot sweats and moods were too much for me. It also gave me a regular cycle so that I was able to tell if I was fortunate enough to be pregnant. The hot sweats disappeared and the moods got temporarily better but I had fallen in to an awful state of depression. Rock bottom hit when one night I sat on my bed rocking and crying as I couldn’t face being alone the next day. It was then that I had to face the fact that I was suffering from depression. This was a huge thing for me to accept. I went to my GP and am now a changed person after starting a course of anti-depressants. My family have all said they have the ‘old me’ back again.

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I came off HRT in the new year so that I could get my FSH tested and the results weren’t in the normal range but closer than they had been. I don’t seem to have had too many side effects. I’m not sleeping as well I was but I’m reasonably symptom free. I have been taking a natural supplement called Femaprin which is an extract from Vitex agnus-castus, more commonly known as Chaste Tree. It works to balance glandular function which then normalises the menstrual cycle. I have started having periods again although they are not regular but promising all the same. Whether this is as a result of the Femaprin I don’t know. Only time will tell.

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I am very grateful for the fact that we have been able to have one beautiful child but I feel totally ripped off that we have been unable to give him a brother/sister – especially seeing as he came in to the world with no effort at all. My husband seems to have taken it fairly well although being a typical male he doesn’t say much. I have to take my hat off to him though – he has taken a lot of grief from me over the last few years and still stood beside me. We will continue to try for another child in the hope that I may spontaneously ovulate at some point but we are resigned to the fact that we are a single child family. We are very lucky to have been blessed with him and only wish we were able to assist those less fortunate.